Dear Wedding Guests; Give Cash

By Paul Pannone

The wedding business continues to evolve and change nearing its destination as a profiteering platform, according to some experts. Some ask where the top of tacky is, as blatant requests from couple to their invited guests clearly spells it out; CASH.

For the couple that has everything.

Last week the Wedding Water Cooler grappled with the idea of telling guests what to give as gifts, bypassing the idea a gift is optional; taking for granted a gift would be given.

After reading a story about cash registries that make it simple for guests to give cash, one member of the Wedding Water Cooler had this to say;

“The entire article is garbage, in my opinion. I get that registries make life easier, but where is the limit of what goes on one. There are now household items registries, honeymoon registries, real estate registries, Fine China Registries, Electronics & Tech Registries… now Cash? Where do we draw the line on making a wedding a ‘pop-up’ business for a couple?” according to Wedding Planner, Denise Georgiou of Weddings Jubilee 

eWedNewz asked Denise if she had a problem with the concept of cash or the approach in which it’s presented.

“My objection is on both! Although registries have become ‘Normal’ nowadays, they have gone from being a  convenience’, which is what they were meant for, to a money-making shameless business for the couple. Time and time again, I have couples try to estimate how much cash they were going to get from their guests in order to incorporate it as part of their budget. I’ve also consulted couples on the etiquette of asking for and receiving gifts at their wedding, they are shocked to hear that it is unacceptable to ask your guests for a gift. They have a hard time understanding that their hospitality at their wedding is an extension of their home. It’s not their fault, there is a ton of  bad information out there that is really disreputable (@weddingrepublic’s article is the perfect example).

I recently had a debate with a Bride, who insisted that adding this line in her invitation was a must: “We prefer monetary gifts only”. It took me 40 minutes to even get her thinking about how terrible it was to add any form of gift request in your wedding invite much less a cash request. We are ordering her invites in 3 months and I still have no ideas what she will end up doing. Her argument was that this is normal amongst her friends and family. My biggest argument, you are have a  high-budget, elegant wedding - adding any type of registry cheapens it and you may as well allow your guests to come to the wedding in jeans and t-shirt and serve Mac & Cheese. Maybe I’m being harsh, but enough is enough!

I feel registries are shameless. Why should anyone feel obligated to bring a gift. If you have everything your need, then why are you asking for gifts in the first place… whatever you do, the word ‘gifts’ whether it’s ’please do not bring gifts’ or ‘we are registered here for your convenience’, should not be a topic surrounding the wedding. If someone wants to bring something, let them, if they can’t, that’s fine too. Obviously this is a sensitive topic for me…don’t even get me started on cash bars…,” she replied.

The discussion concluded there isn’t anything wrong with cash gifts, just the questionable aspects of the registry. Cash is acceptable, even helpful when invited guests don’t know the wedding couple personally. Water Cooler members cited specific cases where different taste levels made it difficult for gift-giving. Others talked about cases where couples married for the second (and third) time or have lived on their own have everything they need.

But where do we draw the line? In the WWC discussion covered the topic of wording on invitations and whether asking for cash– or even any subtle mention– is proper. Some jokingly said to include we accept VISA and Master Card, striking a nerve with members .

Wedding Expert, Christine Boulton said, “Cash has always been an acceptable wedding gift. America is rapidly becoming a cashless society. (heck we use our debit card at Starbucks or 7-11 for a cup of coffee). I haven’t written a check in a long time, I pay everything online. I bet these cash registries accept plastic. As much as you hate it, it may just be a natural progression.”

What do you think?

eWedNewz

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