72 Days and Millions later the Kardashians Crack; Wedding Water Coolies Weigh In

By Paul Pannone

Let’s face it, Kris Kardashian never stood a chance being the traditional breadwinner in the arrangement that took place on August 20th, 2011. In just 72 days, (Mr.) Kim Kardashian filed for divorce “after much consideration”. Shed no tears for either of the divorcing parties, they’re rich, good-looking and young. But what does the breakup do for  the long-term image of marriage?

Wedding Water Cooler member, Chris Jaeger, says the wedding business is battered and the Humphries-Kardashian divorce is just another black eye.


The topic was discussed in the Wedding Water Cooler, worrying some of the wedding experts that realize nothing is sacred any longer.

“The Kardashian affair is just a sign of the times. With the worst of wedding behavior scoring big on the airwaves, you should have known that the queen of celebrity for celebrity sake would jump on the bandwagon. She will get a double score because I am sure the tabloids will have a bloody field day with the divorce proceedings. I just hope the poor schmuck that she picked as the groom got a big payday because you can bet he will be drug through the mud before the divorce is final.

People, our industry is being decimated by drama and bad behavior. The shysters, used car salesman and carnival barkers are making all the noise. Meanwhile, those of us who have been in the industry and are the true professionals are going to get tarred with the same brush. We have to speak out about the bad behavior and decay,” according to wedding expert, Christine Boulton.

In her views Boulton encourages all her fellow WWC associates to use their channels to promote the sanctity of marriage and preserve its meaning beyond the dollar signs. But little gets past the membership of WWC, as Coolies study high-profile weddings closely, looking for tell-tale signs of trouble.

Jacqueline Johnson noticed, “It was very interesting but I was of the opinion that this was not going to work as the husband was rude and obstinate. He wanted to be involved in every aspect but had nothing to add. I thought he was just looking for ‘air time’. I remember the cake tasting and what an obstinate jerk he was. Insisted on being there and decided he did not like sweets so he would not even taste the cake. This and a few more uncalled for remarks made me think this was a bad choice in mate. I hope she gives herself time and find a more compatible mate. Just like most of today’s drama queens it is about ratings and not the sanctity of marriage vows. Well with all the money derived from this event and it was an event she will keep doing it until she gets it right.

Impassioned members of the group speak out and speak up for the human side of the story and how it portrays weddings in all formats.  Some of the WWC members say they find the melding of the purity of marriage tainted by the charade despicable.

Marcinho Savant told eWedNewz, ” Kardashian!  If true, it is despicable enough that they ‘staged’ a wedding in the first place!  It has been alleged that she was paid $17.9 million dollars to participate in what stinks of a shady, sham, FREE, $10m wedding.  Sanctity of marriage?  I just threw up in my mouth… a LOT!

Now from where I sit, in the niche market of GLBTI weddings and events, it breaks our collective heart, that Kardashian, and Britney Spears before her and others even sooner… can get married, willy-nilly— while a tens of thousands of other human beings are seeking the honor of being allowed to marry… even ONCE!   In this case, however, I see it as different from the Spears affront.    Bless her heart, she was, at the time, as odd as a fig-filled grapefruit!  Her’s was an impulsive, immature, “I’m rich and can do what I WANT!”, self-indulgent “because I can” spectacle.  Highly “sanctified”, no?

As far as Kardashian and Humphries… they’re “crazy like a FOX”!   I find it very hard to believe that this was not planned, from start to finish, as an income-producing mockery of the institution of marriage by all involved!  For the world to see.  Let’s take an inventory.  Everybody got PAID!  The advertisers, the media outlets, the tabloids, the “Actors”/(“happy couple”), the wedding professionals/designers/planners roped into this steaming pile of dung— the florists, the limo companies, hotels, villa rentals, caterers, cake designers— Every. Body. Got. Paid (I’m happy the vendors and wedding pros got paid, actually).  And, even in the divorce, the happy couple STILL splits the “sangwich”, with CA being a community property divorce state.

Google her perfunctory, icy, emotionless announcement of the split.  What a bunch of metered, “artfully crafted” tripe. Who wrote that!? “Sanctity of marriage” my eye! Protect it from whom?  It seems that marriage’s sanctity has already been well-damaged historically— since the beginning of the contract’s existence— and increasingly through the centuries, by the original and current ‘management’.  Now, of course, there are many genuine, authentic and meaningful marriages on this planet!  Thank goodness!!

This is a case of guileless, unscrupulous nerve, and a case of untethered avarice and delusional feelings of celebrity entitlement.  I’d like to thank the “happy couple” for making marriage look ridiculous and meaningless, getting away with it and making, one could imagine, a fortune.  Way to go.”

 But just like marriages, nothing lasts forever. The hoopla will subside and fade but will the lasting effects to the term marriage ever be the same? 

Dee Newell told eWedNewz,”I have mixed feelings about the Kardashian Wedding/Divorce. I think everyone surrounding the affair benefited and got a ton of PR for it. However, let’s not forget that the term ‘Hollywood Marriage” was not coined by the Kardashian’s (even though, like the Baldwin’s, there are enough of them to have that impact). I think the big difference now is that everyone & their mother have a reality show and they are under a microscope. This will be old news in a couple of weeks.”

According to some WWC members the emotional part of marriage is already bruised and battered, as most high-profile celebrities cash in. Traditionally, too many members of the wedding industry that were able to cash in on platinum events have less control than ever before, as couples take more control of both the wedding– and the divorce– leaving the growing number of wedding businesses with less chance of scoring big. More than ever consumers are empowered with information and are aware of wedding vendors that are on the hunt for unsuspecting couples wanting to over-charge them for goods and services. 

WWC member,Chris Jaeger, said, “It’s sad to see what is happening and it hurts the industry as a whole. Not like it isn’t already stumbling around with a couple black eyes. In many cases it’s all about the big “money grab” and not about what this really should be all about – helping people plan and have a very special life event and in doing so creating a value exchange. There are still people out there doing that and that is their mission, but the crap I’m seeing like:

“Are you wondering how to get brides off of your social media accounts and into your bank account?” (what the heck does that even mean?)

“Double your wedding business in 12 months” (yes, always easy to do if you made $1,500.00 last year, but what if you did $3.2MM last year? I don’t think so…)

“Want to make more money in the wedding business?” (yes, and if I act today will you double my order and throw in the omega-3 fish oil tablets for free?).

“How to generate a six figure income by reaching more high-end brides…”

“Put your sales on auto-pilot…” (here’s a link that comes in handy after trying this)

“Effortless bridal marketing…”

“How to outsmart Google and get top ranked…” (this is my all-time favorite, yes – like you or I can outsmart dozens, if not HUNDREDS, of the smartest people on the planet who are working on the Google algorithm 24/7/365.”

 For the “Kardashians” the honeymoon may be over. For the wedding business understanding their customer has only begun.



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